It's the last day of 2008 and I'm at home, thinking about my life. I had a realisation today, that I'm a very very lucky person. I might not be completely happy at the moment and still in search for something more in my life, but I am lucky and there's no doubt about it. Lucky because I can jump on a plane and move from UK to Italy in less than two hours, and have something that I love in both countries. Lucky to belong to more than one place. Lucky to be able to realise this. Lucky to be alive. And, most of all, lucky to be surrendered by a series of amazing people, who really care about me.
It's quite ironic to have noticed how many very good friends I have right now, when I'm back to a place where I haven't been in the last six months, half a year!! But it's true. Since I've been back, I've been meeting up with a series of amazing people that couldn't wait to hear everything about my London life, but not only. They called me up, they came to see me at my house every day, starting from the first day I was back, they listened to everything I said and also felt like they could tell me things about their lives that not many people know. It's almost as if being apart for so long has made us more able to realise how precious every moment is. And I'm not just talking of people that I've always been very good friends with. That's the first group. The second group is all those who I've met before but only briefly, and who have been so interested in seeing me again now, after so long, that they have organised things and picked me up from my house... Some of them surprised me as my memory of them was so faded that I wasn't even familiar with their voices or accents anymore. But with both groups of people, what I found is that... we're all a bunch of grown ups. I left as a teenager, came back this time, after 3 years since I had made this decision, and found that I have become an adult, and so have they. And the life in Italy that I'm allowed now is different than the one I had 3 years ago, as I have taken a step forward. I can discover wonderful people in men and women that I have never really talked to much before, but who have made this week amazing.
Sara, Ilaria, Meri, Eri, Paolo, Giulia, Anna, Vero and all my ex schoolmates as the people that I've always known my friends.
But also, Luca, Marci, Marti, Martina, Angela, Paola, Ele, Lollo and others as new, wonderful people I've discovered and that have already given me something.
The memory of my mother, present in all her untouched things in this house, that make me discover new things about her everyday.
And finally, my family, consisting in my dad and my dog.
A father who has become a person I respect and love so much that I've finally managed not to think about me first. And a dog who now looks up to me to find his stability, who absorbes my moods and is both strong and vulnerable, at different times. Two living beings that are so different in the order of importance and even of what they are, but who, in their own way, both not only depend on me, but also give me so much without asking for anything in return.
Today is the end of 2008. And today
I'm grateful for everything I have.
I'm happy for my friends, and for my family.
I'm happy for my dreams and my achievements.
I'm grateful for my memories, and for my imagination.
I'm not stuck in the past, but looking at the future.
I'm smiling at my mistakes.
I'm alive and I'm young.
Today I'm spending New Year's Eve with my dad, and I wouldn't be anywhere else.